VIP Message for Natalie:
Hi Laura! I spoke with you around a year ago and enjoyed our conversation. I’m reaching out again because I am still struggling to find a relationship. When I see someone I have chemistry with; it seems to end senselessly. I feel like I’m a good catch, and men notice me. I’ve not felt any real love connection with a man in many, many years. I’m finally ready! I hope that you can guide me! Natalie
Laura Lee: Here’s my download on your situation, Natalie; if the relationship ends senselessly, God bless them! I know it sounds cliche, but if they were meant to be in your life, you’d be with them today. No love is lost if somebody bolted because they didn’t feel the deep connection.
Love is the only thing real.
Your loop was predictable, controlled, safe and it has lovingly served you up to now. It was out of love that these men disappeared from your life so that you could become aware that your spirit wants to connect from a more profound level. Awareness is the first step towards healing.
You’re more likely to attract what you are instead of what you are not.
On an unconscious level, the chemistry you’re feeling with a man keeps you in a holding pattern because you’re attracted to the same kind of person. Perhaps something on the surface draws you into a person, such as money or appearances (I’m not saying those are your qualities). These men aren’t searching for any ‘real’ connections or going deep with another person. They’re afraid of intimacy with another person because they’re not close with themselves. Being vulnerable with another person may backfire and hurt. If that resonates somewhere within you, keep reading.
I suggest becoming intimate with yourself for a ‘real’ love connection.
Review your life and what makes you tick. Why are you a good catch? Your morals and core values? What are your relationship deal-breakers? What turns you on, and what doesn’t? What are the things you love to do, eat, and where do you enjoy going? What motivates you? Be honest and straightforward with yourself. Love yourself, but more importantly, love your ‘perceived’ foibles too! You’ll discover that your previous relationships didn’t add up because you overrode your soul’s love code. Be real with yourself, to be real with another person.
Take the risk by baring your heart and soul to another person for love’s sake.
Commit 2022 to shine your authentic self to people—no more masquerades. Be real with a man. Avoid downplaying parts of yourself for the sake of a relationship. Being yourself weeds through relationships that waste your precious time. It’s better to know upfront than wait months down the line to determine whether there’s nothing more to pursue—no more second-guessing or compromising yourself. Next time, go back to the man (if you feel it within your heart) and be honest about your feelings. They might surprise you.
I also sense that you came from a divorced family or are divorced (long-term partnerships count), which built a barrier around the heart. If this is the case, it confirms my assessment and is at heart for resolving your issue. Finally, I recommend speaking to a professional counselor for a breakthrough if you haven’t already.
I encourage reading a couple of books that might help your situation too;
Getting to I Do by Dr. Pat Allen (about long-term relationships)
The Secrets of Attraction by Sandra Anne Taylor
I also suggest reading Angel Message: Resilient for more insight.