The one

VIP Question from Brianna: Hi Laura Lee, Soooo…you were right about the man I was dating. I went to NYC to see him this weekend and we ended it. I’m feeling very lost because he is so close to the person that I want a long-term relationship. He said he needs time to know who he is outside of a relationship and that is something I can’t argue. I am in a much better place than I’ve ever been in my life spiritually, mentally and physically.  I’m looking for someone who possesses the same qualities such as myself: I hold myself very sacred. I’ve been through a lot in my life. But, I want to know when I will meet that person who I can walk through life? Perhaps a timeline…or steps I can take to meet him? Any guidance on this is very welcome. I apologize for my earlier upset over the news you gave me concerning this relationship. I really wanted to believe that he was the one. My Best, Brianna

Medium Laura Lee: Miss Brianna, I completely understand the way you feel about thinking a particular person as the ‘one’. I personally relate, as I’m pretty sure many others, who read this message, can relate to such an experience. However, I believe in the future you will be very happy that this person has come and gone in your life. However, I also believe he may circle back around, but at that point, you will have set new ground rules for him (or anyone else for that matter) to enter your field. And I believe those boundaries, you establish, are both healthy and respectful of yourself: It’s a new depth of love that this soulmate has taught you.
Don’t be in a hurry to have another man occupy your space. You’re grieving can take up to 6 months or more, because of the high expectations you had for this guy. Obviously, your heart aches from the split. Energetically, grief keeps other people at bay (like a wall that is up around the heart), which is part of the process to help give the wound time to heal. Take your time to heal so you can see this relationship for what was in your life: Respect and that you are ready for a long-term relationship, whereas in the past you may have been reticent towards the idea of long-term relationship because of an old relationship gone bad. The new found level of respect that you discover for yourself (self-love) during this process, will naturally draw others to you. Almost like moths to a flame. Love, energetically, attracts effortlessly.
RE: Respect. I know you to be an empowered, and strong, woman on so many levels ~ especially professionally. And I also know that you believe that you ‘respect’ yourself, with our recent discussion and as well as the statement ‘hold myself very sacred’. But I just sensed you gave him all of your mind, body (heart), soul, without any commitment long-term (marriage or not), which is what you desired. There wasn’t an equal balance, in your relationship, because he did not give back the same to you and you didn’t make it a requirement. I have mentioned you read the ‘Getting to I do’ by Dr. Pat Allen (sorry to beat a dead horse 🙂 ~ and while you may have read it, I didn’t feel you were employing the relationship therapist more practical recommendations in this book for strong women. Please go back and review.
I believe there is another man who is more respectful of you, because you will be more respectful of yourself. He is divorced. I also sense he has grown children. He travels for work too, but is geographically closer, naturally fulfills the obligations for a committed and is long-term (a long courtship) relationship. He’ll appear like a friend, maybe even a best friend…and not so much like a love interest at first. Just remember that while you make this journey to not lose yourself in it, because your soul needs more fulfillment than another person by your side. You have so much more to do, as we discussed previously. So keep focused on that aspect of you and follow your heart. You are the ‘one’ Brianna….and when you discover you are whole, as you are, centered in that oneness, he’ll appear when you’re ready. Love attracts. Keep me posted. Bless, LL

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