VIP Spirit Message for Madeline:
Now my common-law husband has died. I am in unjust horrible probate with his family. I do not know what to do with myself—I lost life’s meaning, direction, and purpose. Any insights for me? Madeline
Laura Lee: I’m sorry to hear your news. I could feel the air sucked out of the room reading your question. When we don’t breathe, it’s hard to see the next step when our energy is so low. A few things come to mind while reading between the lines.
Spiritually. Take care of yourself by allowing time to grieve.
Give yourself daily hugs, walk, call an old friend, or do things that nurture your soul. Losing a partner and potentially the lifestyle you were used to is a heavy life blow. You were a caregiver and cared for by your mate through the loving exchange. And now that he’s gone, you’re feeling alone and plotted against hold-ups by the outside world. It’s frightening to face an unknown future. Start by giving yourself tender, loving care.
Everyone grieves differently, in their own space and time. However, as an alternative grief therapist, I know it helps to transition grief by clearing your space to see the light, your next step, in the darkness. Clear the clutter if you haven’t already. Organize what of his belongings are sentimental treasures for you and what is not – what are you willing to give and what not. Listen to your heart, and he’ll guide you through it to know what each daughter would appreciate in building good faith, developing bonds, and restoring long-term relationships. Trust me; it will work in your favor over time! When you give, they’ll be more willing to give back. Remember that you all are grieving.
Mentally. Take care of yourself by finding a support group.
You feel very alone in this passage and don’t have anyone to lean upon during your transition. I gather that his girls have time to offer support because they grieve too. Ask for more help. You could learn from people going through the same passage in a support group (FB) or working one-on-one with a professional counselor who can help you see the light of day and life beyond your partner. If you still need to, I also recommend being involved in community work or a job outside the home to interact socially. Being helpful to other people will regain your confidence to live again.
Physically. Take care of yourself to get support from an attorney.
Or find an expert who can represent and negotiate on your behalf. The law has loopholes and interpretations; you need an expert to read between the lines. Find the best lawyer or mediator you can afford (and remember that everything is negotiable. I sense someone will refer you to the right person in time: watch for this sign from your husband, and you’ll know he has your best interest in mind.
If any of my above points resonate, it is a confirmation from beyond. Your partner did not intend for things to play out the way things have up to this point. There may be points of contention with his family due to the ambiguities of his lack of due diligence before the unexpected. This journey is for you all to find peace between you all and let him rest. Finally, you’ll always have a roof over your head and no need to worry!
I recommend reading Angel Message: Resilient for more insight.