VIP Spirit Message for Chris:
Hi Laura. My question is in the romance vein — specifically, regret over a missed opportunity and hope for another chance. Apologies for the length of the message, but I want to share as much detail with you as possible. I met my crush, Maria, in the spring of 1987, when I was a 17-year-old high school senior in the Midwest, and she was a 15-year-old sophomore at a different school. I was introduced to Maria by her neighbor, who was a family friend, and I was immediately smitten. We hung out at the mall (so ’80s), and she was my beautiful prom date. I recall her giving me a nice graduation gift and signing the “Love, Maria” card, which made my heart leap.
Sadly, we weren’t able to get together more than once or twice that summer; she played multiple sports and edited the newspaper at her school and was away at related camps, and I worked my grocery store job and moved on to college (same city, though, only thirty or so minutes away). Being so young and romantically inexperienced, I never told Maria how much I was into her. I kept busy at college with studies, being in a frat, singing in choirs, playing intramurals, partying in the dorms, etc. In her final two years of high school, when I was at college, I did remember to send roses to Maria on her birthday, and we conversed a bit. I even bumped into her at my college when she was a senior in high school and there for a tour and interview; stupidly, I let that now-seemingly-fateful encounter pass without following up (one of my biggest regrets). I’ve always remembered her.
I’m an attorney, with one child (a 15-year-old son), and I am in a 21-year marriage, which has seen better days. Maria now lives in Arizona, works for a bank, has a couple of teenage kids, and is married (or lives with) a lucky fellow. Maria accepted my LinkedIn connection request a couple of years ago; this rekindled my very strong feelings for her, and I think of her a lot these days. We’ve only interacted a little on LinkedIn; I tried calling a few times recently and left her a message about catching up. Maria would be stunned to know how much I was into her back then and how badly I wanted her in my life now. I’m unsure how to phrase my question, but it’s like, “Do I have some sort of future with Maria?” I am looking forward to what you have to say. Many thanks! Chris
Don’t go chasing rainbows just yet.
I don’t want to discount your heart by rekindling the embers of your old flame, but you’re unavailable, as is your dream girl. You’re making it hard on yourself – and for her. I recommend you clean up your business at home by deciding to make it or break it. Bow out gracefully if you want to put in any effort; otherwise, Karma isn’t going to play nice. Taking action would help crack the love code and eventually open doors for more love in your life. The only thing real is NOW; the past is over, and the future hasn’t happened. Given Maria’s current circumstances and where you are presently, you must climb walls to get to her.
It’s easy to romanticize about the one that got away.
Young love was easy without kids, bills, health matters, and relationship dynamics of family, in-laws, and friendships. When you get down to the nitty-gritty of it all, finding love in between makes it more difficult. Love is active and not static. One has to choose love over fear; in other words, all that heavy baggage builds up between people over time. If you’re following your heart, do what’s right. A good start is being honest with yourself and others, including your current bride, to be open to love. It would be a welcome relief for all. If you don’t care for your business, you’ll unload it onto the next relationship.
The future is where you are today.
So you put out feelers with Maria, but she’s preoccupied with her business at home (and running a business, too?). Personally and professionally, I see a busy woman who hasn’t had a moment for herself. Her kids are a top priority; someone needs her care and attention right now. Believe me: Maria KNOWS you’re interested – especially since you reached out more than once. And by answering you, particularly with a phone call, she knows it’s a pandora’s box that she’s not ready to open all the way. There’s too much for her to risk. With that said, I’m not suggesting you give up because I know she’s curious. But she’ll respond to one of your taps if and when the timing’s right. In the meantime, take care of the homestead now to reopen your heart for more love.
With all that said, there are two things I pick up concerning the energy around you and or Maria: I see a child spirit near the situation, which always means that there was a miscarriage, aborted or lost child, and or an announcement to come soon. I also pick up someone autistic or on the spectrum of autism to confirm this message.
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